Harsh perk for being hormotional
Last month was one emotional roller coaster ride for me. I was drained. I was exhausted. And you know what happens when you are weak? You are very vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy. You are easily tempted,hence,this story.
One of the things that I'm struggling with is my hormotional self. As the Urban Dictionary defines,that state of being, normally associated with the onset of menstruation, in which the female of the species loses any ability to control her emotions, due mainly to the effects of hormonal imbalance. Other symptoms include the complete inability to reason logically and angry outbursts at any attempt to provide any reasonable solution to the imaginary problem. I know a lot of ladies would say that it is NORMAL, that people should understand because it is not easy. that people should extend more grace,hence, the needs of the 'hormotionals' must be met. You see those social media posts #PMS, #cravings, #thisgirlisonfire, #redtide? Gaaaaah. I may not be explicit in the online world, but the struggle and battle is definitely real. Sadly, I'm usually on the losing side.
Last month, the label that would best fit me was the girl who sweats the very small stuff. I was easily annoyed, got paranoid and I badly yearned to receive responses which I wanted to hear. I got mad at my boyfriend for calling 15 minutes before the time he said he would. I was jealous over the lettering of a cake. I felt sad for having fruit salad instead of fruit smoothie (same ingredients). Illogical? Definitely. Then there was a time that I suddenly felt bitter because Anton wasn't able to reply one of my queries, but he replied to the newer messages. I then concluded that he was not focusing at our conversation. Being an advocate of positive vibes and grace, he lovingly took the effort to restore our fellowship. He was so sweet and gracious, but to no avail, I remained silent and full of pride. Our succeeding conversations became lukewarm, until he texted me "You see, you expect too much from people..." He added statements which supported his claim of me having high expectations such as in areas of discipleship, relationship,etc.. Ouch. Tagos sa heart. Indeed,when expectations are not met, the tendency of being disappointed and demanding is likely to happen.
It's the first time that I understood this verse:
That was not what I WANTED to hear but what I NEEDED to listen. And I believe we need to be surrounded with people who see and tell us of the things that we are doing. Not because they are fond of meddling with our lives or being pakialamera, but it is being accountable.We can be unconscious and we might claim that all the things that we are doing are right. It pays to have a heart check through the responses of our peers. ;)
After that conversation, he lovingly asked a favor "Can we appreciate more? Let's always be grateful of what we have, instead of focusing on the things that we don't have." I then realized how I failed to speak words of affirmation to the people around me, I failed to be grateful. I focused on the inadequacies. I forgot that aside from Him, we are all imperfect beings vulnerable to mistakes, sins, even the paulit-ulit ones. My resolution is to appreciate more and criticize less. :)
This also goes on our relationship with Jesus. Here's a quick heart check:
1. Are you grateful at all times?
2. How do you respond when expectations are not met?
3. Are you always focusing on what you don't have? Why?
p.s
At the end of the day, I am grateful for that incident, hence, a harsh perk for being hormotional. :)
Credits:
Images are from DesignLoveFest.
Credits:
Images are from DesignLoveFest.
